"Feminism"

I am going to get down on the ground for a minute here, and talk openly about my thoughts and struggles with "feminism", and my purpose and power, "as a woman". 

Firstly, let me start out by explaining my use of quotation marks. "Feminism" is in quotations because I am not sure what it actually means, only the abrasive nature and the implicitly simultaneous victimization and heroism it exudes when a PERSON decides to define both their struggles and triumphs based on one facet of their existence. Gender, race, sexual orientation- whatever.

Please understand that my aim here is to understand my feminist counterparts. It is difficult to get behind something you don't have a precise understanding of, but I certainly don't want to condemn it for that reason either. Please also understand that the way I walk thru life, generally, is to treat people as I would want them to treat me. This is painstakingly difficult to do sometimes. At least it has been for me. I have learned that it is called "golden" and a "rule" for a reason- it isn't always easy, but it is what must be done, for the highest and best good of if not everyone, then at the very least, for yourself. All in all, I've found that it works out. When it doesn't, I've had to ask some very hard questions, usually to myself. Asking these questions are the catalysts for a strength that has allowed me to handle my own scale of difficult situations. The test of ones character is what builds just that- Character. 

I have a hard time identifying with the feminist ideology, or culture, or whatever it exactly IS, exactly, because it doesn't implicitly explain  who a woman is, or how she treats others, or even herself. It only states that "A feminist" is a woman, who believes in women, and their equal and right treatment and greater good. A woman that demonstrates this belief in an air of confidence and perseverance that commands respect. 

Sounds pretty good. Definitely not satan worship. Good intentions are certainly obvious. 

However.

Yes, however. 

And here is the hard question I have been grappling with-

In a nation of beautifully determined and spirited soul sisters, why should that be the reason "we"- as PEOPLE- not women- are deserving of success and human decency? 

Does feminism exist in order to define A Woman and their worthiness of womanhood? Or their humanity? What is the prime directive of feminism precisely?

Women, at least in the western world, (which is obviously not the only place in the world) have done truly incredible work. Our foremothers most notably. There was a time which none of us know first hand, when I would be condemned for even speaking as I am, which is just simply, honestly. Perhaps even women would look down upon me. No, we aren't "there" yet, but more women are graduating from college than men than ever before, women are testing their entrepreneurial powers, and owning their bodies and sexual freedom in all of it's beautiful goodness.  

But what else?

There is a striving for women to "have it all". Women want to be educated, to have a career, to be a mom, and still have time for sex.

And if a woman wants to do it alone (minus the sex part, of course ;) although...) then more power to her. Literally. Because she will need it.

There are only 24 hours in a day. If women work 8-10 hours a day, and also have children, who, if they are any sort of parent, will want and BE a present force in their child's life, then that is another few hours in the morning and evening of making dinner, giving baths, brushing teeth, maybe reading a story, and putting to bed. Perhaps maybe that woman will get a full eight hours of sleep until it's time to repeat the routine. Perhaps not. Perhaps she doesn't have children, because it's late and her fertility isn't as strong as it was at one time. Perhaps she is trying desperately and maybe taking other measures to make her dreams of motherhood come to fruition, like in vitro fertilization, or considering adoption. These are all hard choices, and harsh realities of "having it all". And while I am truly proud of such astonishing determination, I am still concerned for women. Not just for the way they are treated, but for how they treat themselves. Are we stretching ourselves too thin? Is it so defeatist and unspeakable to question whether or not there might be a certain amount of voluntary responsibility that may not be impossible, but unhealthy, and ironically self-sacrificial?

I am still concerned for the children we will raise. What will our daughters aspire to? What will our sons aspire to? What will they say to each other when they discover their anatomical differences? Will it matter? Does it matter? What will you say to them?

How can men and women ever cross the historical gender specific boundaries that are practically evolutionary at this point, without meeting each other half-way? Without accepting our most primal truth: that men and women simply are NOT the same. Both are human, capable of all things human. Our chemical makeup, our very brains are biologically un-identical. This is neither negative, nor positive. They are fact. What makes the experience of womanhood, manhood, and humanity a positive or negative one, is how those experiences interact with one another, and how they interact with themselves. Without letting go of pride, and taking hold of our differences, embracing compassion and understanding, how can we, humans, ever hope to come to a truly harmonious, unified existence?